


Destroy Your Feelings

by venomandchampagne (sushibunny)



Series: However Long It Takes [12]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet, But Infinitely Better Than The Show, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fixing Canon, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 17:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5136743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sushibunny/pseuds/venomandchampagne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What should have happened after the horrendous shredder scene during the Bitter Ball.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destroy Your Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is a just a little drabble idea that popped into my head after watching the nonsense on the show during season 5.
> 
> Originally posted on February 7th 2014.

Caroline speed-walked back to the dance as fast as she could without drawing attention to herself. She had managed to slip away from Stefan and Elena after Bonnie and Jeremy had reunited and gone off somewhere together. She wasn't sure what was up with Stefan and Elena or what she had walked in on earlier, but that was really the last thing on her mind at the moment. Right now she had more pressing matters to deal with.

She skidded to a halt at the doors and cautiously reentered the ball room. The cleanup crew appeared to be well on their way to disassembling the dance. Caroline knew she was almost out of time, if she wasn't already too late.

She strode purposefully over to the corner where the shredder had been, knowing people were less likely to question her if she looked confident and like she belonged there.  _Less likely, but apparently not completely out of the question,_ she thought as a voice stopped her.

"Um, can I help you?" a short brunette asked her, trash bag in hand. "The ball is over, you're not really supposed to be here."

Caroline sighed and turned to face the girl. "It's okay, I won't be long," she compelled, watching the girl's eyes constrict and dilate in response. "You'll make an exception for me," she said impatiently.

The brunette nodded blankly before turning and walking away.

Caroline determinedly continued on her path, quickly reaching the shredder. The shredder with the empty trash bin underneath it.

"Crap," she breathed, looking around quickly, although she didn't know what she was looking for. Her eyes landed on the girl she had compelled and it clicked in her mind.  _The trash bag_.

She suddenly found herself in front of the other girl, surprising both the brunette and herself that she had used her vampire abilities in public like that.  _Get a grip, Caroline_ , she told herself angrily.

"Quiet," she ordered before the nameless girl could say anything, the compulsion flowing from her easily. "What's in that bag?" she asked hurriedly once the girl's mouth had snapped closed at her orders.

"Garbage from the dance," the brunette intoned, staring blankly at Caroline.

The vampire rolled her eyes. "What garbage  _specifically_?" she demanded harshly, her patience running unusually thin. She wasn't sure if it was because of all the night's drama or from the current situation and Caroline didn't really want to know.

The girl blinked dully at her before answering. "From the refreshment table, the garbage can from the corner, and the shredder papers."

Caroline's eyes lit up at the mention of the shredder. "Give it to me," she commanded, sounding oddly gleeful about receiving a bag of trash. She grabbed the bag from the girl's hands before she could hand it to Caroline, impatient for the contents. "I'll just take care of this for you, go about the rest of your duties, forget all about me," Caroline compelled before quickly turning away, trash bag clutched tightly in her hands like something precious.

Caroline turned into the first empty room she found after exiting the ball room, flipping on the lights and locking the door behind her. It was some kind of small classroom, but Caroline paid it no mind. She found a table in the front of the room and upended the trash bag onto it. Single-mindedly she began searching through the refuse, tossing plastic cups and half eaten cupcakes carelessly behind her. It was dirty and frankly quite gross, what she was doing, but Caroline pushed those thoughts out of her mind as she continued sifting, searching.

She finally came across paper, lots of and lots of it. Long, thin strips of photographs and letters and who knows what else. Remnants of broken hearts and failed relationships. She searched determinedly for the familiar paper, the well-known pencil marks. Her search became more and more frantic until she pulled out a strip with a very familiar name at the bottom.

A smile spread across her face as she stared at the piece of paper before she dug into the trash with renewed vigor. She found more and more strips until she had located a few more letters, what looked like part of a horse's ear, and a curl of her hair. Caroline continued searching in good spirits until she pulled out a strip that looked back at her. It was one of her eyes, or most of one at least. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared down at the paper. There was a small smudge of chocolate under the pencil lines of her eye, very closely resembling a tear. As her eyes drifted to the other pieces she had found, she saw they were in much the same condition. There were food bits on half of them, drink soaking even more, the pencil smudged and obscured on more than a few, and she hadn't even located half of the drawing yet.

Caroline felt her eyes begin to water as she let the strips of paper fall from her hands back onto the table, some drifting to the floor. She was such an idiot. To think she could just put the sketch back together with tape, pretend as if she hadn't destroyed it. But that wasn't her first mistake was it? No, that was her thinking that destroying his gift, his stupid romantic drawing, would also destroy her feelings for him. It was such a stupid theory, in hindsight. Unlike a fragile piece of paper, her feelings for the hybrid were not so easily gotten rid of.

Her tears flowed freely then as she took in the mess before her. Trash covered the table, spilling onto the floor. It was almost as much of a mess as she felt at that moment. Caroline wearily wiped her eyes before she snatched up the trash bag and began to refill it.

Her tears had stopped by the time she had cleaned off the table and floor. She bent down under the table, a last piece of garbage catching her eye. Lifting the paper to her face she saw it was the strip with his name again. She smiled sadly at the familiar script before dropping her hand and reopening the trash bag. Caroline hesitated before throwing away the last remnant of the sketch, hand hovering over the open bag. She sniffed as she changed her mind, folding the strip of paper in her hand and placing it in the pocket of her dress. She couldn't save the whole drawing, but she could keep this one piece to remind herself.

Caroline slowly pulled herself off the ground, picking up the trash bag on her way out of the room. She turned the lights off and closed the door behind her as she started down the hall, looking for a garbage can. Two hallways later she finally found one, sighing in resignation as she dropped the bag into it.

She stood looking at the garbage for a moment, gathering her emotions back under control before she turned to walk away. She managed a few determined steps before she found herself looking back over her shoulder at the trash, at the shredded physical reminder of  _him_. She shook her head, faced forward and kept walking, lifting her chin high to feign the indifference that she did not truly feel.

At least the sketch would always be preserved in her heart, in the corner where she kept the beautiful blue and white dresses, the lost diamond bracelet that belonged to a princess, and all the words that he had said to her that made her feel special and beautiful and  _first_. That corner that grew irritatingly larger all the time, despite her best efforts. Caroline's hand slipped into her pocket as she walked, gently gripping the folded slip of paper as a smile crossed her lips.


End file.
